Related:

• I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
  -- Ogden Nash...
• He: Baby, drinking makes you beautiful. She: I don't drink. He: I do.
• My uncle staggered in the other night, loaded. His wife said, "Where have you been?
  He said, "I bought something for the house." She said, "What did you buy for the house?...
• Your fighter doesn't get bonuses because he drinks coffee.
• QOTD: "I treat her like a throughbred, and she's STILL a nag!
• Not long ago, there was a little Cajun boy that brought himself in the house.
  And like all little boys, first thing he did, he yell, "Momma!...
• Asked how she felt being the first woman to make a major-league team
  he said, "Like a pig in mud," or words to that effect, and then turned and released a squirt of tobacco juice from the wad of rum soaked plug in her right cheek....
• I distrust a man who says 'when.' If he's got to be careful not to drink too much, it's because he's not to be trusted when he does.
  -- Sidney Greenstreet, _The Maltese Falcon_...