Related:

• My notion of a husband at forty is that a woman should be able to change him, like a bank note, for two twenties.
• My notion of a wife at 40 is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties.
  -- Warren Beatty...
• I made a note in my diary on the way here. Simply says...'Bugger'. -- Cpt. Darling : Goodbyeee...
• These two strings walk into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?
  The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quaqg fulk boorg jdk^Cjf dLkjk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvyowmc63^Dz x....
• She really wasn't my type -- a hard-looking, untalented reporter for the local cat-box line
  but the first second that that third-rate representative of the fourth estate cracked open a new fifth of old Scotch, my sixth sense said seventh heaven was as close as an eighth note from Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, so, nervous as a tenth grader drowning in eleventh-hour cramming for a physics exam, I swept her into my longing arms, and while humming The Twelfth of Never, I got lucky on Friday the thirteenth....
• Mad Programmer Commits Suicide KENNETT, MO -- For two years Doug Carter toiled away in his basement computer lab working on his own 'Dougnix' operating system.
  Apparently he was sick of Windows 95 so he decided to create his own OS, based loosely on Unix....
• Two farm boys are just sitting day dreaming when a cow strolls by.
  Man," says the first boy, "if only that was a woman....
• A note on the wall says: Nakrl Vauis Paris Xaz
• FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
  #8 Going Out: When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out....