Related:

• Gregorian chants in background; serene voice:) Hello, Brother or Sister.
  You have reached the Cubicles of Curtis, Chris, and Jim....
• Theme music from Peter Gunn:) My name is David. What people call me is something else entirely.
  I'm a P.I. It says so on my door. I would have been here to take your call, but then....
• You have reached the Des Moines chapter of the Iowa Procrastination Society.
  Please leave a message after the tone and we'll get around to it....
• Hi, dudes, this is 229-3053, the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles' secret underground hideaway.
  I'm afraid we're all out just now on a desperate mission to save the Planet from boring answering machine messages, but if you know what The Shredder has done to April O'Neill, or if you know where he is, or if you can think of a decent pizza recipe, just leave your name and number and we'll ring you right back....
• Thank you for calling the Satanic Hotline. All of our operators are busy at the moment.
  If you would like, leave a brief message after the tone, and someone will get back to you....
• Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY!
  They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he's still out there somewhere....
• This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word.
  Today's word is "supercilious". -- Answering machine madness - odd organizatio...
• You have reached 843-4734. Please hold while I process your call.
  (Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your number and was able to match it with our list of important callers....
• You have reached the Suicide Prevention Hotline. All our lines are busy now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
  -- Answering machine madness - odd organizatio...