Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Theme music from James Bond:) Hello. My name is David, code number 324-5628.
  I'm sorry I can't take your call, but I'm on an international mission involving the theft of gold plated Spam....
• Jack Webb voice:) This is the city. Lambertville, New Jersey.
  I work here. I carry a tune. I was changing my name to protect my innocence when I got a call about a 411....
• Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now
  o after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following word...
• Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number.
  On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone....
• Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed.
  I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone....
• Homer: I'm really sorry I hit you Mr. Burns. Here, let me put some salt on that eye.
  Burns: [frightened] No, please, I can't bear another trashing....
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can.
  Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO....