Related:

• Cucumbers stay hard for a week. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• Eleven reasons a cucumber is better than a man: (1) Cucumbers can stay up all night, and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot.
  (2) Cucumbers don't play the guitar and try to find themselves....
• Cucumbers are easy to pick up. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• Cucumbers don't care if you make more money than they do.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• Cucumbers don't leave you wondering for a month. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• No matter how you slice it, you can have your cucumber and eat it too.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• You can eat a cucumber when YOU feel like it. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh cucumber.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...