Related:

• With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• Eleven reasons a cucumber is better than a man: (1) Cucumbers can stay up all night, and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot.
  (2) Cucumbers don't play the guitar and try to find themselves....
• A cucumber won't ask, How was it? -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• It's easy to drop a cucumber. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• A cucumber doesn't have hands when it's desperate. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• No matter how you slice it, you can have your cucumber and eat it too.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• A cucumber doesn't care if you're a virgin. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...