Related:

• The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• I don't pretend to have all the answers. I don't pretend to even know what the questions are.
  Hey, where am I? -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If I come back as a horsefly, I think my favorite thing would be to land on someone's lip.
  Even if they smash you, ick!, you're all over their lip! -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• It's fascinating to think that all around us there's an invisible world we can't even see.
  I'm speaking, of course, of the World of the Invisible Scary Skeletons....
• If life deals you lemons, why not go kill somone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)?
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• To me, there's no better symbol for the world than a grasshopper lying dead on a gravel road, and maybe there's a globe lying next to him.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid-gold baby?
  Maybe we'll never know. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...