Related:

• The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys.
  I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while....
• Come on over here, baby, I want to do a thing with you.
  -- A cop, arresting a non-groovy person after the revolution, Firesign Theate...
• Carl: Hey, Homer, are you sure it's OK to smoke Cuban cigars and gamble here now that your wife's a cop?
  Homer: Are you kidding? Being a cop husband is one mighty sweet deal!...
• I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 50 miles per hour?
  '. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• Maude: I just hope they have Us magazine in heaven.
  Mrs. S: He said it was his day to use the tub pillow....
• Don't ask me. I just work here.
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly]....
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it, moves it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly, and says, 'Here, you can go....
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)....