The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car
keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was
speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "right
here, officer". Later, I parked it on the freeway, got out, and yelled at all
the cars, "Get out of my driveway!"
-- Steven Wright
keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was
speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "right
here, officer". Later, I parked it on the freeway, got out, and yelled at all
the cars, "Get out of my driveway!"
-- Steven Wright
Related:
- One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in
the door of my apartment building.
.. I turned it... and the whole building started up.... - I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn.
By accident I put the car key in the door lock. The house started up.... - I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn.
By accident I put the car key in the door lock. The house started up.... - I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had
to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights.... - I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
.. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?... - I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had to be
going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
-- Steven Wrigh... - Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here in heaven?... - I was hitchhiking the other day and this car trailer pulled up and
offered me a ride.
He said that there was no room in the cab, but I could climb into one of the cars in the back.... - I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it, moves it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly, and says, 'Here, you can go....
