Related:

• True life begins when the kids leave home and the dog dies.
• Moe: If you like good food, good fun, and a whole lot of.
  ..crazy crap on the walls, then come on down to Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag....
• Life does not begin at the moment of conception or the moment of birth.
  It begins when the kids leave home and the dog dies....
• Well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
  -- Homer sets the new standard for family togetherness, "The Springfield File...
• Marge: Do you think we should leave the kids unsupervised?
  Mother: You're right. [turns on the TV] -- "There's No Disgrace Like Home...
• Oh, what a family. My wife and kids stood by me. On the way home, I realized how little that helped.
  .. -- Homer narrates his story, "Dancin' Home...
• Ned: Today we write a new page in the Flanders Family Bible!
  [he leads the kids into the water] Who wants to be the first to enter God's good graces?...
• Nothing in life is "fun for the whole family." -- Jerry Seinfeld
• Marge: [reading a sign on their door] "Parents are not to communicate with children, and must stay at least 100 feet away at all times.
  Homer: We leave you the kids for three hours and the county takes them away?...