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• Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddys, and kids with fake IDs.
  -- Homer Simpson The Springfield File...
• Better go home and hit your kids. They are just little monsters!
• Better go home and play with your kids. They are just little monsters!
• Homer: "Sometimes I think we must be the worst family in Springfield.
  Marge: "Well, maybe we should move to a larger community....
• Homer: You're home safe. Done my duty. See you the next time we need your signature.
  Abe: Aw, you never want to spend any time with me....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Well, Mr. Cat Burglar, you'd like to get in here, wouldn't you?
  There's just one little problem: 36 years ago, some lady gave birth to a man named Homer J....
• Bring the whole family...but leave the kids at home!
• The money you save after the kids have gone can be used well, to afford new housing for the smaller family.