Related:

• May you wake up in the morning next to a dead orangutan.
• If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time.
  Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year....
• If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time.
  Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year....
• You know you're in trouble when... (1) You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
  (2) Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife. (3) Your income tax check bounces....
• If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.
  And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record....
• You wake up in the morning, and your purse is magically filled with twenty-four hours of unmanufactured tissue of the universe of your life!
  It is yours. It is the most precious of possessions....
• WAKE-UP ERECTION -- a morning thickness.
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your wife says, "Good morning, Bill," and your name is George.