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• May you wake up in the morning next to a dead orangutan.
• Do you wake up in the morning feeling sleepy and grumpy?
  Then you must be Snow White! -- David Fro...
• There is a New America every morning when we wake up.
  It is upon us whether we will it or not. -- Adlai E. Stevenso...
• If you don't drink, when you wake up in the morning that's the best you're gonna feel all day.
  -- Martin Mull...
• The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
  -- Slappy White...
• A married man sho wants to conceal his drunken infidelities can easily wake up in the morning wondering who he's lying next to.
• A recent survey conclusively proves that the reason why most women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning is because they haven't any balls to scratch.
• I'm for peace--I've yet to see a man wake up in the morning and say, "I've just had a good war.
  -- Mae We...