"One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in
the door of my apartment building... I turned it... and the whole
building started up.... So I drove it around.... A policeman stopped
me for going to fast... He said, 'Where do you live?'... I said,
'Right here'... Then I drove my building onto the middle of a
highway, and I ran outside, and told all of the cars to get the
hell out of my driveway."
-- Steven Wright
the door of my apartment building... I turned it... and the whole
building started up.... So I drove it around.... A policeman stopped
me for going to fast... He said, 'Where do you live?'... I said,
'Right here'... Then I drove my building onto the middle of a
highway, and I ran outside, and told all of the cars to get the
hell out of my driveway."
-- Steven Wright
Related:
- The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car
keys.
I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while.... - I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn.
By accident I put the car key in the door lock. The house started up.... - I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn.
By accident I put the car key in the door lock. The house started up.... - Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here in heaven?... - I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
.. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?... - Last night, I came home and realized that everything in my apartment
had been stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate.
I told this to my friend -- he said, `Do I know you?'" -- Steven Wrigh... - A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, 'Why were you going so
fast?
' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator.... - The other day, I was walking my dog around my building.
..on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights.... - I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building.
..I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet....
