Related:

• You know it's going to be a bad day when: your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
• You know your son is growing up when he looks at a girl the way he used to look at chocolate cake.
• Homer: Son, there's only one thing punks like that understand
  squealing. You've got to squeal to every teacher and every grown-up you can find....
• May you fool your enemies and beat them to Paradise.
• To be free it is not enough to beat the system, one must beat the system every day.
• Rabbi K: You know that my son Herschel was first in his yeshiva class?
  As a matter of fact, he was voted `The most likely to hear God'....
• You know that your son is growing up when he stops asking you where he came from and refuses to tell you where he is going.
• Brodka: I thought I told you, don't return for busted merchandise!
  Homer: What are you doing to my son? Brodka: I'm afraid your son broke the eleventh commandme...
• Ned: [nervous] Well, a friendly Springfield "Hello" there, neighbors.
  Uh, you know, we think some kids of ours may be missing in your town....