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• You know your son is growing up when he looks at a girl the way he used to look at chocolate cake.
• When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
• You know it's going to be a bad day when: your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
• A horrible little boy came up to me and said, `You know in your book The Martian Chronicles?
  ' I said, `Yes?' He said, `You know where you talk about Deimos rising in the East?...
• Beat your son every day; you may not know why, but he will.
• A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.
  He's only been there a few weeks when he gets a call from his girlfriend...
• RESEARCH: Consider Columbus: He didn't know where he was going.
  When he got there he didn't know where he was. When he got back he didn't know where he had been....
• Research, n: Consider Columbus: He didn't know where he was going.
  When he got there he didn't know where he was. When he got back he didn't know where he had been....
• One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in the door of my apartment building.
  .. I turned it... and the whole building started up....