Related:

• I asked my mother for a mind of my own, but she said no.
• Have you said "I love you" to your mother lately
• In the Plaza Hotel once, when I was doing the quiz show, there was a priest in the elevator.
  I hope you're not offended by this--I'd tell a story about a rabbi but it doesn't fit, and neither did the rabbi and they finally threw him out of the synagogue....
• Skinner: Bart! Heh heh, welcome. Can I offer you a Diet Caffeine-Free Dr.
  Pepper or an individual fruit cocktail cup? Ba...
• I filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify".
  I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do? -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify".
  I wrote "Doctor" ... What's my mother going to do? -- Steven Wrigh...
• My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate.
  I said, "Just wait." -- Judy Tenuta...
• Homer: Listen here: my name is Homer J. Simpson. You guys think I'm dead, but I'm not.
  Now I want you to straighten this out without a lot of your bureaucratic red tape and mumbo- jumbo!...
• I was out in the backyard one beautiful day. I said to my mother, "Mama, why don't I have no sister or no brother?
  She said, "Go away, go play, don't worry your mother, dear....