Related:

• I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn.
  By accident I put the car key in the door lock. The house started up....
• One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in the door of my apartment building.
  .. I turned it... and the whole building started up....
• The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys.
  I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while....
• I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• My house is made out of balsa wood. When no one is home across the street, except the little kids, I go out and lift my house up over my head.
  I tell them to stay out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• Last night I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards.
  I got a full house and four people died. -- Steven Wrigh...
• In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above.
  ..so I never have to go upstairs. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
  I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights....