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• My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around.
  I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face....
• The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys.
  I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while....
• My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
  -- Stephen Wrigh...
• My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. -- Steven Wrigh
• I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them.
  Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. -- Steven Wrigh...
• All the plants in my house are dead---I shot them last night.
  I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. -- Steven Wrigh...
• For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier.
  I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I was walking down the street and all of a sudden the prescription for my eye-glasses ran out.
  -- Steven Wrigh...