I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn. By accident I
put the car key in the door lock. The house started up. So I figured
what the hell, and drove it around the block a few times. I thought I
should go park it in the middle of the freeway and yell at everyone to
get off my driveway.
-- Steven Wright
put the car key in the door lock. The house started up. So I figured
what the hell, and drove it around the block a few times. I thought I
should go park it in the middle of the freeway and yell at everyone to
get off my driveway.
-- Steven Wright
Related:
- I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn.
By accident I put the car key in the door lock. The... - One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in
the door of my apartment building.
I turned it... and the whole building started up.... - The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car
keys.
I started the house up. So, I drove it around for... - I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere,
I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway... - My house is made out of balsa wood. When no one is home across the street,
except the little kids, I go out and lift my house... - I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi... - Last night I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards.
I got a full house and four people died. -- Steven... - In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above.
so I never have to go upstairs. -- Steven... - I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere,
I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway...
