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• No object is mysterious. The mystery is in your eye. -- Elizabeth Bowe
• You know that the day is not off to a good start when someone tells you that your unimportance is only matched by your truly great insignificance.
• Ezekiel and Ishmael, in accordance with your parents' wishes, you may step out into the hall and pray for our souls.
  -- Ms. Krabappel shows a sex education film, "Bart's Friend Falls in Love...
• Love is missing someone even when they're with you.
• If you think you have someone eating out of your hand, it is not at all a bad idea to count your fingers.
• You will diiiiieeeee. You will die slowwwwwwwly. Your stomach will swelllllllll, your intestines will wriiiithe and booooil.
  Your eeeeeyes will buuuuurn....
• How can you tell if your car is a lemon? Your car might be a lemon if
  1) You can't get your glove compartment closed because of all the repair receipts....
• ODD Odd things that you don't want people find in your house include
• Life consists in this. You no sooner get your head above water when someone flushes and it all starts over again.