Related:

• You know you lead a sad life when the girls who get around never get around to you.
• Hey Nancy, Mickey said to tell you to shove it.
• The people around you will finally know peace and happiness... when you're dead!
• I went to a garage sale. How much for the garage? It's not for sale. -- Steven Wrigh
• Homer: OK, men, it's time to clean up this town! Skinne
  Meaning what, exactly? Homer: You know, push people around, make ourselves feel big....
• You know you should be swimming when . . . You peer around for a red-headed girl when people mention an aerial.
• You know you lead a sad life when a nymphomaniac comes up to you and says,"Let's just be friends.
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...when you can't wake up in the morning because you forgot to push a return address on the stack the night before.
• Those buttons you push on the traffic light post at the corner are not really connected to anything, but they make you feel better as you wait for the light to change.
  Most people who push the button feel they have done something....