Related:

• You know you lead a sad life when a nymphomaniac comes up to you and says,"Let's just be friends.
• All the girls around you say "You got it coming", but you get it while you can.
• Everything comes to him who waits - and if you hang around long enough, you'll get yours!
• The people around you will finally know peace and happiness... when you're dead!
• A fool and his money are never around when you need them.
• Never get married in the morning--you never know who you might meet that night. -- Paul Hornung
• You spend the first half of your life wondering if people will purchase the services you have to offer.
  The second part of your life is spent wondering if those who purchased the services you offered will ever get around to paying for what they purchased....
• Procrastinators will do it when they get around to it.
• I don't know about microwave ovens. Food should not get hotter as you're eating it.
  It can't be good for you ... Maybe it's just mine....