Related:

• Homer: Larry, there's only one sure way to make him realize how much he loves you.
  And that is a phony kidnapping. Larry: Yeah, right....
• Jasper: Why bother voting? He's guilty. Flanders: Well, we might as well make it official.
  Homer: What does "sequestered" mean? Skinner: If the jury is deadlocked they're put up in a hotel together so they can't communicate with the outside world....
• Kent: Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for some unknown reason.
  Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?...
• Homer: Hey! What's up for today, Neddy? Ned: Uh, er, Homer, we're gonna visit the boys' grandmother.
  Family only, you know? Homer: Right! No reporters....
• Homer: {OK, we've got the secret vigilante handshake.
  Now we need code names. I'll be Cue-Ball, Skinner can be Eight-Ball, Barney will be Twelve-Ball, and Moe, you can be Cue-Ball....
• Kent: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack-beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?
  Homer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent....
• Homer: You better have a good reason for doing that, boy.
  Jimbo: It makes me feel like a big man. Homer: Let me check my reason list....
• Homer: You know, boy, some of the players you see tonight may make it to the big leagues someday.
  Bart: What? Aren't we going to see any washed-up major-leaguers?...
• Homer walks dejected through the empty alley] Home
  [voice-over] My marketing plan attracted a record number of police and fire officials....