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• I wave my private parts at you, you stupid englishman!
• I write for Reader's Digest. It's not hard. All you do is copy out an article and mail it in again.
  -- Milt Kame...
• I was talking to an Englishman and I said, "It's absolutely remarkable.
  In this day and age, you could fly to New York in six hours....
• A Pole, a Soviet, an American, an Englishman and a Canadian were lost in a forest in the dead of winter.
  As they were sitting around a fire, they noticed a pack of wolves eyeing them hungrily....
• In talking to girls I could never remember the right sequence of things to say.
  I'd meet a girl and say, "Hi, was it good for you too?...
• Lewis: [covered in leaves] Hey, look at me. I'm Skinner's body!
  Bart: That is not funny, Lewis. Milhouse: Well, I heard Skinner's buried under his parking spot....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• All persons, living or dead, are purely coincidental, and should not be construed.
  -- Kurt Vonnegut 117. A faithful dog will always stay with you And laugh with you --or cry-- He'll gladly starve to stay with you Nor ever reason why....
• Funny, I just knew you were going to say that.