I'm Writing The Definitive Work On Pain. I Would Like You To Tell Me How This Machine Makes You Feel.

Related:

• This is Alan. Leave me a message and tell me what I can do to.
  .. I mean, do FOR you. -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message.
  Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around....
• Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life.
  After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message....
• This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there.
  .. (Long silence...) BEEP -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine?
  Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist....
• In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife. (Heeeeee-YAH!
  Sound of smashing box of kleenex.) But this method doesn't work with a telephone call....
• Jack Webb voice:) This is the city. Lambertville, New Jersey.
  I work here. I carry a tune. I was changing my name to protect my innocence when I got a call about a 411....
• As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality.
  You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone......
• Hello, you have reached dial an unpopular luncheon meat, I am pimento loaf, leave me a message.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...