Related:

• I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy.
  I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me....
• The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me.
  I remember we'd all pile into the car---I forget what kind it was---and drive and drive....
• To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary.
  I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad....
• It's amazing to me that one of the world's most feared diseases would be carried by one of the world's smallest animal
  he real tiny dog. -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside.
  I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said....
• When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise.
  She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder....
• Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait.
  Not me, you. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Please don't spoil everything by telling me the truth.