Related:

• Throw away that vibrator device that is supposed to take fat off your thighs.
  Admit it, the thing never worked, did it? -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Never fret about losing a single sock in the wash again.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Try, just once, to do the lotus position. You'll never get the opportunity again.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Sell your mountain-side chalet. You never used it much anyway.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Throw out your Walkman. Face it, you only ever used the thing when you went jogging, didn't you?
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Buy your chiropodist a farewell present. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Donate your shoe collection to Imelda Marcos. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Don't trust seagulls to explain anything. It's a *fork*, and don't forget it.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Drive a car with an automatic transmission. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.