Related:

• Don't trust seagulls to explain anything. It's a *fork*, and don't forget it.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Act like a cartoon character. Most of your companions will be.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Buy your chiropodist a farewell present. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Donate your shoe collection to Imelda Marcos. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Don't settle for anything less than a Seiko Sports 100.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Don't worry about ladders in your stockings. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Drink like a fish. Try to get legless. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Go water skiing, but keep the other ski as a spare.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Never fret about losing a single sock in the wash again.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....