Buy Your Chiropodist A Farewell Present. -- Forty-two Things To Do As Preparation For Life As A Mermaid.

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• Act like a cartoon character. Most of your companions will be.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Donate your shoe collection to Imelda Marcos. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Don't worry about ladders in your stockings. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• See a psychiatrist about your hydrophobia. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Stop worrying about your varicose veins. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Write to your local council complaining about the lack of mermaid ramps on public buildings.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Sell your mountain-side chalet. You never used it much anyway.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Try to appreciate sex with your knees tied together.
  (This may be slightly more challenging if you are female....
• Don't settle for anything less than a Seiko Sports 100.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....