Related:

• Drink like a fish. Try to get legless. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Never fret about losing a single sock in the wash again.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Try to appreciate sex with your knees tied together.
  (This may be slightly more challenging if you are female....
• Sell your mountain-side chalet. You never used it much anyway.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Discover that you *can* eat seaweed. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Learn that sharks aren't just there to be eaten. Some of them are getting the hang of this newfangled role-reversal stuff.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Don't become a concert pianist. They use the soft pedal as *well* as the damper.
  Be thankful you never liked organs, because you don't stand a chance....
• Trade in your Harley-Davidson for a motor scooter. That way you won't have to make a choice about whether you get to change gears, or use the brakes.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• If you dye your hair, don't use water-soluble dyes.
  It is hell trying to get the colour out of your eyebrows....