Related:

• You know it's going to be a bad day when: your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
• On curing the depression that comes with having to work for a living
  Stay home for a day and watch daytime TV. -- Sheldo...
• Marge: "Bart, you love your sister, don't you?" Ba
  Don't make me say it. I know the answer. You know the answer....
• Lisa: I still don't understand why you get to stay home and watch mom work.
  Bart: Because I've always been an advocate of women in the workplace, Lis....
• When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?' -- Don Marqui
• drop cable -- what I'm tempted to do when I get my bill for HBO.
• As we all know, a high school drop-out has very poor job prospects.
  The best he can hope for is to become Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. -- Jim Tubma...
• One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
  -- Erma Brombeck...
• A bore is someone who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.