Related:

• Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.
  05. Counting down to test: 5... 4... 3... 2.....
• Creamed asparagus! BEEP -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle
• The party you dialed is not available. Your call is being diverted to an alternate number.
  Please stand by... (Ring...) The number you dialed must be dialed by your 0 operator....
• Ahhhhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhhhh... (Heavy breathing sounds, like an obscene phone call.
  ) Oh, nuts, YOU called ME! Sorry. Never mind. Leave your name and number at the beep....
• This is Anthony. Leave me a message at the beep. (beep) Whoops, I bet you couldn't hear that.
  Lemme try again. (Beep) Nuts, once more with feeling....
• Fairly boring message:) This is John. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message at the tone, I'll return your call.
  (Now, re-record the message every morning. Frequent callers will notice that something sounds different, but will be confused since the words are exactly the same....
• Hi, this is Jim. Thanks for calling during my spring pledge drive.
  A basic membership is only $30, and a $60 pledge gets you an "I love Jim Shea" T-shirt....
• Hello. All of our operators are busy right now, but if you'll leave your name, telephone number, a brief message, and the time you called, we'll get back to you as soon as possible.
  Thank you and have a pleasant day. (This can dissuade prank and sales callers who don't know it's really a private line....
• Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back....