Related:

• Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back....
• You have reached 843-4734. Please hold while I process your call.
  (Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your number and was able to match it with our list of important callers....
• Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hello! (Pause.) No, it doesn't look as if I'm in right now.
  Maybe you should leave a message or call me back later....
• I just got a car phone. I'm not here at the moment.
  Leave me a message and I'll call you when I'm out....
• Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
  Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it....
• This is Jeff, you're not in now, so I'll leave a message.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• Hello. All of our operators are busy right now, but if you'll leave your name, telephone number, a brief message, and the time you called, we'll get back to you as soon as possible.
  Thank you and have a pleasant day. (This can dissuade prank and sales callers who don't know it's really a private line....
• If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
  Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message....
• This is Frank. You can leave me a message, but I must warn you I get annoyed with messages that are hard to read.
  So please use your shift key appropriately, avoid overdoing punctuation, and spell-check your message, or I might ignore it....