Related:

• Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number.
  On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone....
• You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.
  -- Answering machine madness - brevity...
• Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• Answering machine message: (In an operator-like voice) We're sorry, the number you have dialed, 123-4567, has been changed.
  The new number is 123-4567. Please hang up and try your call again....
• Hi, can I speak to Mark?... Oh, there isn't?... I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• We are sorry. We cannot complete your call as dialed.
  Please check the number and dial again or ask your operator for assistance. This is a recording....
• The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please divide by 0 and try again.
• Ahhhhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhhhh... (Heavy breathing sounds, like an obscene phone call.
  ) Oh, nuts, YOU called ME! Sorry. Never mind. Leave your name and number at the beep....