Related:

• This is David. Talk to me. -- Answering machine madness - brevity
• Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $
  0.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone....
• Being reincarnated as an answering machine is the pits.
  Keep your karma clean by leaving your name, number, message, and the time that you called....
• Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT?
  -- Answering machine madness - you're in big trouble...
• I am not home to talk to you, But please don't be a creep.
  Just leave your name and number, At the sound of the....
• After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money.
  I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding....
• Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
  Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us....
• All our answering machines are busy. Please hold. (Pause.
  ) All our answering machines are... (CLICK) This is the answering machine of....
• The machine answering this message is connected to a 5000 volt power supply, and a relay which is wired to this small kitten.
  (Sound of a kitten meowing.) If you hang up before you leave a message, it will complete the circuit and fry the kitty....