Related:

• Computer generated voices:) 1: I didn't expect an answering machine.
  2: Nobody expects an answering machine. 1: Our chief use is to get your name....
• After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money.
  I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding....
• My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration.
  I'll get back to you pending credit approval....
• Congratulations! By correctly dialing 123-4567, you have become eligible to leave a message!
  (Applause.) Join the lucky few that have advanced to the next level!...
• Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite color of underwear.
  We'll get back to you if we like the color. -- Answering machine madness - family fu...
• Operatic music like Rossini's "Stabbat Matter":) Hi, you've reached Hell.
  (Screams in the background.) We're busy being cleaned by the light of eternal truth right now, so if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we'll get back to you at the end of time....
• Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone.
  If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number....
• Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $
  0.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone....
• Ahhhhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhhhh... (Heavy breathing sounds, like an obscene phone call.
  ) Oh, nuts, YOU called ME! Sorry. Never mind. Leave your name and number at the beep....