Related:

• You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.
  -- Answering machine madness - brevity...
• Sinister organ music:) Hello, you have reached the Brown residence.
  You now have two choices. Number one, you may leave a message....
• Thank you for reaching out to us. Nobody is home now.
  However, if you leave a message, we'll reach out and touch you....
• The machine answering this message is connected to a 5000 volt power supply, and a relay which is wired to this small kitten.
  (Sound of a kitten meowing.) If you hang up before you leave a message, it will complete the circuit and fry the kitty....
• You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition.
  You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded....
• Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
  Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it....
• Fairly boring message:) This is John. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message at the tone, I'll return your call.
  (Now, re-record the message every morning. Frequent callers will notice that something sounds different, but will be confused since the words are exactly the same....
• Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $
  0.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone....
• If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
  Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message....