Related:

• Have a nice day - unless you've made other plans.
• Are you getting sick and tired of people saying some nerdy thing to you like
  Have a nice day!" Sometimes people say this to me while wishing that if I die, I do it on cheap embalming fluid....
• One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl.
  ..I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?...
• The teacher asked three boys to write an essay. She said, "Write on what you would do if you had a million dollars, and bring it in tomorrow.
  So the next day the three little boys came in. She said to the first boy, "Percy, this is a nice essay on what you'd do with a million dollars....
• The other day [the President] said, I know you've had some rough time
  and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility....
• Have a nice day.
• She said she had nothing to wear. I smiled.
• I saw a close friend of mine the other day... He said, "Stephen, why haven't you called me?
  I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it....