I saw a close friend of mine the other day... He said, "Stephen, why haven't
you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no
five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know...
my calendar has no sevens on it."
-- Steven Wright
you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no
five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know...
my calendar has no sevens on it."
-- Steven Wright
Related:
- I have a box of telephone rings under my bed. Whenever I get lonely,
I open it up a little bit, and I get a phone call.... - I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi... - Last night, I came home and realized that everything in my apartment
had been stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate.
I told this to my friend -- he said, `Do I know you... - One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in,
I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl...I sat... - I owed my friend George $25. For about three weeks I owed it to him.
The whole time I had the money on me---he didn't know... - I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment
had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.
I told my roommate, "Isn't this amazing? Everything... - My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour.
I said, "the whole time." -- Steven... - One time the police stopped me for speeding. They said,
"Don't you know the speed limit is fifty-five miles... - A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, 'Why were you going so
fast?' I said,
'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator...
From the same category:
- One who has a flood of words and a drop of reason.
-
Rowell's Definition of the... - A Wise Man can see more from the bottom of a well than
a Fool can see from the top of a mountain... - Every thought is a feat of association.
--
Robert... - AIRLINE PILOTS do it at incredible
heights... - Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity?
And where does it go after it leaves the toaster? ...
