Related:

• I hope you'll think this is funny. A man calls an undertaker and says, "You better make arrangements for a funeral.
  My wife passed away." The undertaker says, "You must be drunk....
• A man asked a private detective to follow his wife.
  After several days, the private detective came back with his findings....
• Two parent drops spent months teaching their son how to be part of the ocean.
  After months of training, the father drop commented to the mother drop, "We've taught our boy everything we know, he's fit to be tide....
• A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.
  He's only been there a few weeks when he gets a call from his girlfriend...
• May your mother-in-law treat you like her own child and move in with you.
• How many Jewish mothers in law -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  (cue typical accent, shoulders hunched...) Three. One to screw it in and two to gossip about it behind her back....
• At a party, a snobbish gentleman is trying to impress her.
  I just can't bear fools" he says. To this comes an instant reply "obviously your mother did"....
• Of Law there can be no less acknowledged than that her seat is the bosom of God, her voice the harmony of the world.
  All things in heaven and earth do her homage,--the very least as feeling her care, and the greatest as not exempted from her power....
• Always treat your kite - like you treat your woman.
  Sir, do you mean take her home at the weekend to meet your mother?...