Related:

• My father is credit manager at a funeral home. His bosses have a card that they hand out.
  It says Thank You for Smoking -- Your local undertaker....
• An undertaker calls a son-in-law: "About your mother-in-law, should we embalm her, cremate her, or bury her?
  He says, "Do all three. Don't take chances." -- Myron Cohe...
• A man asked a private detective to follow his wife.
  After several days, the private detective came back with his findings....
• An old man lost all his money. Seventy years old, hasn't got a dime.
  Who does he blame? His wife. He says, "If you were a good wife, you'd go out and work for me....
• A man goes into a bar and begins to tell a Polish joke.
  The man sitting next to him, a big hulking powerhouse, turns and says menacingly, "*I'm* Polish....
• A pickup with three guys in it pulls into the lumber yard.
  One of the men gets out and goes into the office....
• I have a funny daddy Who goes in and out with me And everything that baby does Daddy's sure to see, And everything that baby says, My daddy's sure to tell.
  You must have read my daddy's verse. I hope he fries in Hell. -- Odgen Nash (1902-1971)...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Two drunks sitting at the bar. One drunk says, "Hey, did you hear about the new ice cubes with the hole in the middle?
  The other drunk says, "Whaddya mean hear about 'em? I married one!" -- Hap Happy...