Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• A farmer decides that his three sows should be bred, and contacts a buddy down the road, who owns several boars.
  They agree on a stud fee, and the farmer puts the sows in his pickup and takes them down the road to the boars....
• I hope you'll think this is funny. A man calls an undertaker and says, "You better make arrangements for a funeral.
  My wife passed away." The undertaker says, "You must be drunk....
• After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
  Although the insurance-company doctor testified that his bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable of walking, the judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $...
• With deep concern, if not alarm, Dick noted that his friend Conrad was drunker than he'd ever seen him before.
  What's the trouble, buddy?", he asked, sliding onto the stool next to his friend....
• Before he went off to the wars, King Arthur locked his lovely wife, Guinevere, into her chastity belt.
  Then he summoned his loyal friend and subject Sir Lancelot....
• Harry constantly irritated his friends with his eternal optimism.
  No matter how bad the situation, he would always say, "Well, it could have been worse....
• A woman was married to a golfer. One day she asked, "If I were to die, would you remarry?
  After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in this marriage and I would want to be this happy again....