Related:

• RETURN An experience of sheer terror. Here's some advice for when you want to return goods to their place of purchase.
  - Find the receipt. Okay, so you only bought your product X yesterday, the shop you bought it from probably only sells an X once in a blue moon and the shopkeeper in question has known you personally for a period of decades....
• RETURN An experience of sheer terror. Here's some advice for when you want to return goods to their place of purchase.
  - Find the bag that your product X came in, which naturally has the shop's logo plastered all over it....
• RETURN An experience of sheer terror. Here's some advice for when you want to return goods to their place of purchase.
  - If you're going to even think about mentioning refunds, take along proof of identity, a shotgun, several lawyers, and all of the above....
• RECEIPT Proof of the purchase of goods. There are two distinct types of receip
  - the receipt that sits in your wallet for the best part of a year before you clean it out, and then pops up again regularly for the rest of your life, in desk drawers, stuck in books as bookmarks, or attached to the fridge with a magnet - the receipt that you think you put safely somewhere, but can't find when the goods that you bought falls apart/breaks down/ causes you to want to return the goods, for whatever reason....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• QUEUE Something that supermarket supervisors obviously have no idea how to manage.
  It's tempting when you're waiting to grab a PA microphone and shout "Yes, shoppers, don't leave yet, 'cos we've got mega bargains now!...
• Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I call it.
  Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?...
• QUEEN Not much of a career to get into if you can help it.
  Tends to involve flying all over the place being famous....
• GARDEN The garden is where all the nasty bugs and insects that you see on those wildlife documentaries are.
  A succession of features on spiders, ants, bees and wasps, all filmed using really expensive lenses, have left me scared shitless of the slightest bit of greenery....