QUEUE
Something that supermarket supervisors obviously have no idea how
to manage. It's tempting when you're waiting to grab a PA
microphone and shout "Yes, shoppers, don't leave yet, 'cos we've
got mega bargains now! All breakfast cereal, meat and dairy produce
bought in the next fifteen minutes is 90% off! Stock up now!" Wait
thirty seconds and all the queues will have disappeared.
I sometimes get quite infuriated in supermarkets. Keep me off
the roads - people are in enough trouble when they get in the way
of my trolley. Some of them leave their shopping trolleys in the
middle of the aisle. Next time that happens I'm gonna move it for
them and then watch as they try to work out where they left it.
I dream that one day they'll turn the whole supermarket into
one big one-way system. "Hey, too bad if you don't want dog food
because you haven't got a dog... too bad! You gotta go via the dog
food anyway! What'dya mean you forgot the eggs... too late now!
You'll just have to go around again! See you in hell, shopper! You
there! Trying to climb over the frozen food section to get back to
the shampoo! Get down here now! Reg - get the shotgun! ... <BANG>
... Your attention shoppers, due to an... incident in the frozen
food section, all shoppers will be detoured via hygiene products.
We apologise for any inconvenience. Do not attempt to enter the
frozen food section. Thank you for shopping at Dangerousway."
-- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
Something that supermarket supervisors obviously have no idea how
to manage. It's tempting when you're waiting to grab a PA
microphone and shout "Yes, shoppers, don't leave yet, 'cos we've
got mega bargains now! All breakfast cereal, meat and dairy produce
bought in the next fifteen minutes is 90% off! Stock up now!" Wait
thirty seconds and all the queues will have disappeared.
I sometimes get quite infuriated in supermarkets. Keep me off
the roads - people are in enough trouble when they get in the way
of my trolley. Some of them leave their shopping trolleys in the
middle of the aisle. Next time that happens I'm gonna move it for
them and then watch as they try to work out where they left it.
I dream that one day they'll turn the whole supermarket into
one big one-way system. "Hey, too bad if you don't want dog food
because you haven't got a dog... too bad! You gotta go via the dog
food anyway! What'dya mean you forgot the eggs... too late now!
You'll just have to go around again! See you in hell, shopper! You
there! Trying to climb over the frozen food section to get back to
the shampoo! Get down here now! Reg - get the shotgun! ... <BANG>
... Your attention shoppers, due to an... incident in the frozen
food section, all shoppers will be detoured via hygiene products.
We apologise for any inconvenience. Do not attempt to enter the
frozen food section. Thank you for shopping at Dangerousway."
-- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
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