Related:

• RETURN An experience of sheer terror. Here's some advice for when you want to return goods to their place of purchase.
  - Find the bag that your product X came in, which naturally has the shop's logo plastered all over it....
• RETURN An experience of sheer terror. Here's some advice for when you want to return goods to their place of purchase.
  - Find the receipt. Okay, so you only bought your product X yesterday, the shop you bought it from probably only sells an X once in a blue moon and the shopkeeper in question has known you personally for a period of decades....
• RETURN An experience of sheer terror. Here's some advice for when you want to return goods to their place of purchase.
  - When you get to the shop, radiate confidence. For some reason, whenever I'm in this situation I get pangs of guilt going through my mind....
• RECEIPT Proof of the purchase of goods. There are two distinct types of receip
  - the receipt that sits in your wallet for the best part of a year before you clean it out, and then pops up again regularly for the rest of your life, in desk drawers, stuck in books as bookmarks, or attached to the fridge with a magnet - the receipt that you think you put safely somewhere, but can't find when the goods that you bought falls apart/breaks down/ causes you to want to return the goods, for whatever reason....
• AND NOW A WORD FROM THE PENTAGON To all those sissy wimps who don't want a war - remember what we're talking about here!
  What about all the oil we won't be able to pollute the atmosphere with if we don't liberate Kuwait?...
• TEST Computer term. The name of every file that you can't think of a proper name for.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• TELEMARKETING The practice of ringing you up when you're on the toilet just to ask you what you think about council merge
  would you like to donate to charity X, or would you like to get Call Waiting put on your phone....
• GENERATION, OLDER The people that don't understand you. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
• GENERATION, YOUNGER The people that you don't understand. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA