Related:

• It's interesting to think that my ancestors used to live in the trees, like apes, until finally they got the nerve to head out onto the plains, where some were probably hit by cars.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• As the light changed from red to greeen to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life.
  Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling?...
• I'd rather be rich than stupid. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
• People just naturally assume that dogs would be incapable of working together on some sort of construction project.
  But what about just a big field full of holes? -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If you're a boxing referee, it's probably illegal to wear a bow tie that spins or changes colors.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Too bad there's not such a thing as a GOLDEN skunk, because you'd probably be PROUD to be sprayed by one.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the corner.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• If you're ever stuck in some thick undergrowth, in your underwear, don't start thinking of what other words have "under" in them, because that's probably the first sign of jungle madness.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...