Related:

• I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting.
  That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said Nick....
• Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining
  What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people?...
• I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy.
  I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me....
• Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me.
  I remember we'd all pile into the car---I forget what kind it was---and drive and drive....
• Basically, there are three ways the skunk and I are a lot alike.
  The first is, we both like to spread our "stink" around....
• Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull?
  Is it "dull" that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it?...
• I think a good movie would be about a guy who's a brain scientist, but he gets hit on the head and it damages the part of the brain that makes you want to study the brain.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...