Related:

• One time the police stopped me for speeding. They said, "Don't you know the speed limit is fifty-five miles an hour?
  I said, "Yeah, I know, but I wasn't going to be out that long." -- Steven Wrigh...
• I was hitchhiking the other day and this car trailer pulled up and offered me a ride.
  He said that there was no room in the cab, but I could climb into one of the cars in the back....
• One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in the door of my apartment building.
  .. I turned it... and the whole building started up....
• But, Officer, I stopped for the last one, and it was green!
• I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?
  Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..." -- Steven Wrigh...
• A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, 'Why were you going so fast?
  ' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator....
• Hey, you folks are all right. Man, it was rough getting a ride out there.
  The only car that stopped was a hearse that thought I fell out....
• I asked my doctor if I should have a vasectomy. He said leave a sleeping dog lie.
  The last time I had sex my self-winding watch stopped. -- Lenny Rush...