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• And then I woke up.
• I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library.
  When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. -- Rodney Dangerfield...
• I slept like a baby -- woke up every two hours.
• I woke up to discover it had all been a terrible film...
• The TRUTH--next, on the Rush Limbaugh program! then I woke up.
• I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.
  I told my roommate, "Isn't this amazing? Everything in the apartment has been stolen and replaced with an exact replica....
• I woke up and started folding my bed back into a couch and almost broke both my arms, because it's not one of those beds!
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I can tell I'm getting older. I'm starting to use "old people" cliches.
  The other day I actually told someone I slept like a baby....
• The other day he woke up with a headache. I felt sorry for him.
  I would like to help him but I can't. I told him so many time...